It amazes me that experts on marriage talk so little about trust. They discuss compatibility, even administer personality profiles to help a couple see how they match up. All fine, and very worthwhile.
One expert who does emphasize the importance of trust is John Gottman. He calls trust one of two pillars that support a strong and lasting marriage relationship.
If the intent of marriage is to build and maintain a uniquely intimate relationship, trust becomes more important than any other quality. We simply do not develop intimacy with someone we don’t trust. In fact, the depth of our intimacy will be in direct proportion to the depth of our trust.
Diane and I met in college and married just after graduation. Both of us felt we were making a good choice, but I wanted to know if there was one quality that gave Diane the confidence to marry me. So one day I asked her. “Diane, why did you marry me?” (Note: Even after all these years, I am still amazed that she did.)